Kiss This
by dreamer1483
Summary: Sometimes enough is enough and you just have to tell them to Kiss This! Jacob/OC story but not very Jacob friendly! Swearing, feisty females and general angry comedy.


Hello All! It's been forever hasn't it? Sometimes things just happen. So this is a Jacob/OC oneshot but it is not very Jacob or Bella friendly. It has heavy swearing so if that offends you, turn back now. It is short and un-beta'd but it wouldn't leave my head! I heard the song and it wouldn't leave my brain alone, so here you go! It is based on the song Kiss This by Aaron Tippin. I highly recommend listening to it but the lyrics are at the bottom for your perusal. I own nothing except my OC Addie I guess.

Addie POV (OC)

If you listen to the legends, then imprinting is this magical gift that gives you your perfect soulmate. Well I call bullshit. It's a magical force alright but perfect soulmate my ass. I snorted as I knocked back another whiskey that Paul had put in front of me. He gave a sad smile as he refilled the glass for the third time in ten minutes.

Don't get me wrong there are some imprints in the group that are so perfect for each other it's sickening. Take Kim and Jared for example, they're so in love rainbows and cute fluffy kitten come shooting out every time they kiss. Even Em and Sam, though they had a bit of a fucked up start, are sickly sweet. So the wolf gods had some sense I guess, but they must have taken one too many hits to the peace pipe when the decided to "gift" the last two imprints they made. Paul's, to some random and annoying prissy Forks girl, who politely said fuck you and no thanks and did something no one though was possible: broke the imprint. Then you have mine. I knew it was going to be difficult at first, everyone (mostly Paul) warned me how far his head was shoved up that Swan girl's ass, but after the newborn battle he really had me believing we had a shot; that we were going to make it. Hell I even forgave him for giving that needy, spineless bitch a kiss on the mountain top before the battle because it was me who was next to him as his bones were rebroken and set. It was me who he professed his love to that night. It was me who he proposed to a few weeks later. Me. So where the fuck did it all go wrong.

I sighed again and sipped my whiskey this time. I was just so done. I was pissed, but most of all I was just tired of all the bullshit. I looked around the room at what was supposed to be our engagement party, all of the pack gathered as well as some of our friends from around the Res, my fiancé nowhere in sight. He was late, again. Brady had gone to relieve him from his patrol shift over two and half hours ago, and about an hour and half ago I was informed by a guilty looking Embry that my fiancé was currently off with Bella fucking Swan instead of being at our engagement party. I was done.

I heard the dull roar of chatter quiet some and Paul's body tense a moment before I felt his heat radiating from behind me. I swallowed the last of my whiskey as a slight whiff of the sickly sweet scent of perfume that could only belong to Bella Swan hit my nose.

"Babe, I'm so sorry I was late. Bella was having an issue with everything that was going on and I couldn't just leave her there crying and alone. I know I'm a right jerk and I'll do anything to make it up to you. I love you so much, why don't we enjoy the rest of the party and then I'll make it up to you when we get home yeah?" He smiled his sunny smile that could make any girl weak in the knees. My hand tightened around my empty glass before I placed it back on the counter and stood up.

"So I guess you think we're just going to kiss and make up, don't ya?" Jake's sunny smile dimmed a little as I smirked. "You know what Jake, I've had it. Why don't you kiss, kiss this! And I don't mean on my rosy red lips! Me and you, we're through! And there's only one thing left for you to do, you just come on over here one last time pucker up and close your eyes.  
and kiss this, goodbye."

Jake sputtered for a second before recovering. "Come on baby, you don't mean that. You know I love you. We can work on it, together."

I let out a frustrated screech before prowling forward as he stumbled backwards to get away from my anger. I kept advancing until he was back against the wall and I was right in his face before continuing.

"No Jake, we can't 'work it out' because you wouldn't know what together meant for me and you if it bit you on the ass. I forgave you for you lapse in judgement when you kissed Bella because you _promised me_ that you were over her. That your feelings faded when you saw all the destruction that the whole situation had caused. But here we are and nothing has fucking changed! You've missed family dinners with everyone, come home late, missed our dates and hell you were even two and a half hours late to our fucking _engagement party!_ " I noticed the crowd of party guests gather around and I couldn't find an ounce of care of them witnessing my finally dismissing Jake's ass from my life. "So no Jake we can't work anything out together, because there is no together. I'm done with this sham of a relationship and I'm done with you."

I felt the imprint bond loosen and then snap. A look of horror crossed Jake's face as I smiled and said " So Jake, why don't you kiss, kiss this! And I don't mean on my rosy red lips. Me and you,  
we're through and there's only one thing left for you to do. You just come on over here one last time, pucker up and close your eyes and kiss this, goodbye!"

I spun on my heel away from a shocked Jake and smirking and downright laughing party goers as I made my way to the door.

"Here Shorty, let me take you home" Paul murmured as he handed me my jacket I left at the counter and dug keys out of his pocket. I nodded silently and followed him out of the house, not once looking back as the door closed behind, shutting the door on that fucked up chapter of my life. I finally felt like I could breathe again.

 _She Was a woman on a mission_  
 _Here to drown him and forget him_  
 _So I set her up again to wash him down_  
 _She has just about succeeded_  
 _With that low-down, no good cheating_  
 _Good for nothing, came strutting through the crowd_  
 _Oh he was laying it on so thick_  
 _He never missed a lick_  
 _Professing his never-ending love_  
 _Oh but I never will forget_  
 _When she stood up and said_  
 _"So I guess you think we are just gonna kiss and make up don't ya?"_

 _That's when she said_

 _Why don't you kiss, kiss this!_  
 _And I don't mean on my rosy red lips_  
 _And me and you_  
 _(Me and you)_  
 _We're through_  
 _(We're through)_  
 _And there's only one thing left for you to do_  
 _You just come on over hereon last time_  
 _Pucker up and close your eyes_  
 _And kiss this, goodbye_

 _Well,the next thing I recall_  
 _She had him back against the wall_  
 _Chewing him like a bulldog on a bone_  
 _She was putting him in his place_  
 _I mean right up in his face_  
 _Dragging him down a list of done did wrongs_  
 _It was just about now_  
 _That the crowd gathered around_  
 _They come to watch him pay for his every sin_  
 _She called him everything under the sun_  
 _And when we thought she was done_  
 _She rared back and she let him have it again, MAN_

 _She said...she said_

 _Why don't you kiss, kiss this!_  
 _And I don't mean on my rosy red lips_  
 _And me and you_  
 _(me and you)_  
 _We're through_  
 _(we're through)_  
 _And there's only one thing left for you to do_  
 _You just come on over here one last time_  
 _Pucker up and close your eyes_  
 _And kiss this,_

 _Why don't you kiss, kiss this!_  
 _And I don't mean on my rosy red lips_  
 _And me and you_  
 _(me and you)_  
 _We're through_  
 _(we're through)_  
 _And there's only one thing left for you to do_  
 _You just come on over here one last time_  
 _Pucker up and close your eyes_  
 _And kiss this, goodbye_

 _Kiss this, goodbye_


End file.
